I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
