six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
