Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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