I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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