omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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