remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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