I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
