I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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