LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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