I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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