dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
