and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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