the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
