how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
