oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
