did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
