She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
