he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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