Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize