i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
