can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
