the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Princesses don't give blow jobs
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize