in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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