i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
