How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize