I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
