HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
