weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize