Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
