what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Couch. On fire.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
