hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
