how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He did a backflip because drugs
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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