Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
