If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
