No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
