i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
