Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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