If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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