Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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