I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
