he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
