found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'd cum for enchiladas.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
