I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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