On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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