FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
