I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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