If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
nutella sex= disaster
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
