You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
