I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
