I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
