i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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