I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
