Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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