So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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