we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
