Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
