is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
