I think im going to throw up on grandma
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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