You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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