Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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