Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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