dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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