There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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