oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
