its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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