I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
